March Of The Merkin

General Information About Merkins

Merkins are shy, retiring creatures. They have an affectionate nature and those kept in captivity can be tamed if the owner is patient. However, these small creatures should not be underestimated. If a merkin feels threatened it will defend itself.

A dwindling population, most notably in hot climates and especially Brazil, has meant the merkin is now on the World Wildlife Fund’s endangered species list. If you happen to chance upon one of these reclusive creatures, be very quiet and carefully move out of its territory. Do NOT pet it.

Love Amongst Merkins

Female merkins outnumber males by a huge percentage. If the female is fortunate enough to find a partner a complex mating ritual will begin. Once impregnated the female is usually abandoned by the male thereby allowing both creatures the freedom to lead lives of lonely desperation. Only one out of three merkin marriages succeeds.

Lifecycle Of The Merkin

The gestation period lasts for five days and gives the merkin a chance to gorge on protein shakes. When it is ready to give birth the creature will secrete itself into a warm, damp crevice.

The birthing process can be very traumatic and a high proportion of merkins will die from complications. If all goes well the mother will be joined by a healthy baby called a merki. Mother and merki stay together for a week. During this crucial period the merki will endure a growth spurt. The creature loses its baby fur which is replaced by a tougher, more resilient pelt. Now a fully fledged merkin the creature will leave its mother and embark on the most hazardous journey of its young life. It will cover rough terrain and face many predators before finding shelter and sustenance on a warm and hopefully willing body. Thus, the circle of merkin life shall begin once again.

Circus Du So Gay 

Have you ever daydreamed about running away and joining the circus? How about an all female, lesbian friendly circus? Now your dream can come true thanks to Arleen Atari, Ringmistress of Circus Du So Gay.

Arleen first came up with the idea three years ago. Stuck in a boring nine to five job, Arleen spent her free time teaching children gymnastics.

"I absolutely loved," Arleen said. "I'd get kids coming to the group who couldn't do headstands. By the end of the course, they were tumbling and back-flipping all over the place."

"One night I was talking to my girlfriend who is a professional clown. She mentioned how she'd always wanted to join a circus and I thought what a great idea.

With the financial back of friends and family, Arleen quit her job, cashed in her life savings and put an advertisement in Carnival Monthly looking for lesbian entertainers. She was inundated with replies. Weeks of training went into creating Arleen's dream and it shows. Melissa Etheridge songs play as fire-breathing ventriloquists, strongbois, gender bending trapeze artists and sword swallowers work their magic for the audience's entertainment.

Since opening to rave reviews, the troupe has travelled throughout America and Europe. Arleen is now hoping to expand her venture. If you are a lesbian, sixteen or over and have juggling tendencies, Arleen would love to hear from you.