Misty Shackle's Blog

1st October

Is four people having sex a foursome or is it an orgy? How many people are required to get an orgy going and what if one person stops to get a drink of water; does that mean the orgy turns back into a threesome or is it still an orgy?

2nd October

I finally met Stephanie's new girlfriend and she appeared to be a nice person. Her name is Jenny and she didn't didn't seem to have anything wrong with her although, I should get to know her better before jumping to conclusions. Jenny is seven years older than Stephanie and runs a business making decoupage greeting cards. It started off just her, pieces of scrap paper and a pot of glue and has grown into an award winning phenomenon. These are her words not mine as I am skeptical there are awards given out for making animal collages unless you are five and attending primary school.

3rd October

I had what nearly erupted into a row with Lucy. There is a special kind of automatic pencil I like using when ticking off a to do list. I'd run out so asked her to get me some more pencils out of the stationery cupboard. She returned with a box of old fashioned wooden ones. I said I couldn't use them as they give me wrist cramps. She said the stationery budget had been cut and that's all she could afford to order. I believe she was lying and called her out on it. She got very snooty and told me to be more 'pacific'. Her ignorance was like a red rag to a bull. I told her if I used them I would get wrist cramps, then be off work which would cost the company more than a box of crappy plastic pencils. Veins were popping on the side of Lucy's neck and she was making wheezy noises. Mike intervened before she did herself physical damage. I may be fire marshal and know basic first aid but I'd be reluctant to use my skills to help Lucy especially when she's being unreasonable.

4th October

Stephanie rang saying Jenny had invited us to her house for dinner on Saturday. I said I couldn't and Stephanie correctly guessed that I'd be over at Kelly and Dawn's. We agreed,  instead, to go for Sunday lunch which should be nice but does mean I'll have to cut short tipping the velvet on Saturday or else I'll be knackered. Last time we met up Stephanie and I didn't get a chance to discuss our lesbian bar. She asked if I'd spoken to my parents about a loan and I said not yet. I will do but I need to pick the right moment. Stephanie also asked my opinion of Jenny. I told her the truth and she seemed pleased. Then Stephanie admitted that she was sort of falling for Jenny. It might be too quick but I didn't say that to Stephanie because she deserves a bit of happiness after all the crap with line dancer.

5th October

I went for lunch with Kelly and she told me that she and Dawn were meeting one of the girls off the swingers' website on Friday and if her photo was an accurate representation of what she really looked like and she wasn't a weirdo that they wanted to invite her to their house on Saturday. I must have looked scared because she asked if that was okay. I said it was fine but I still hadn't made up my mind if I wanted to participate. Kelly said what I could do is come over and then if I didn't want to sleep with them I was free to go. I told her I'd have to leave early anyhow because I was out on Sunday and Kelly said that was okay and gave me a hug and a kiss on the lips which was quite shocking as we were in the park and anybody could have seen us.

6th October

I decided to tell Dr Liebermann about my concerns regarding the foursome. I am worried about bringing a new person into the mix and don't see why it's necessary. Dawn and Kelly always appeared to be happy with what I did for them. Dr Liebermann told me not to be pushed into anything. I won't. He didn't understood what I was trying to say to him so I changed the subject to work related issues.

I've always been good at sex. Women enjoyed the pleasure I gave them. If I don't even have that anymore, what else is there?

7th October

I began drinking at 5pm and was tipsy when the phone rang at 6pm. I didn't pick up letting the machine take the message. It was Kelly. In a whispered voice she said they'd met up with the girl from the online ad and she was cool and up for it. She told me to come over and check her out. I played the message three times, then booked a taxi to take me to there house. I'd had nearly a whole bottle of wine but when I rang the doorbell I felt completely sober. Dawn answered gave my arm a comforting squeeze and asked if I was okay. I nodded and followed her into the lounge. The girl was sat on the sofa. She wore a leather jacket, tight jeans, a wife beater and her name was Louise. She kind of laughed at my name which I didn't appreciate. Kelly came out of the kitchen with a bottle of wine which we finished off quite quickly. Kelly left and came back with the dice she brought out the time I was there with Stephanie. I'm glad I'd been drinking because it was as if I was outside of the room looking in. Kelly positioned herself next to Louise. As we played the game I saw her putting her hand on the girl's leg. Dawn put her hand on my back and then tickled the nape of my neck. Kelly and Louise were now kissing. Dawn kissed me and I closed my eyes until I was told to open them. Both Kelly and Louise were topless and were stood up. They said they were going to the bedroom and to join them when we were ready. Dawn and I made out and she asked me if I was okay a few times. I said yes. There was a point where she tried to pull me up but I made her get back down next to me on the floor. I licked her breasts in the way I know she likes but she pushed me off and said we needed to go join the others. She grabbed my by my belt and pulled me up and so I followed her. When we got upstairs, Kelly and Sharon were completely naked. Sharon had a pierced nipple which Kelly was pulling on with her teeth. Sharon seemed to like that. Dawn left me at the door and joined them while I stood watching for a while. Kelly rather impatiently shouted at me to join them. I sat on the edge of the bed until a hand pulled me into the group. It was muddled. Hands and legs were everywhere. There were times when I was touching a person and didn't know who it was. The part which stuck out for me was the part I liked the least. We had rearranged ourselves so I was having sex with Kelly and Dawn was having sex with Belinda. I was on top of Kelly and looked over to watch Dawn and Belinda. Dawn looked as if she was in ecstasy, but what I hated the most were the noises she was making. In all the times I had sex with her she had never made those noises. I wondered what Belinda was doing that was so different to the things I had done. I lost all sexual desire and wanted to go home. I knew I couldn't leave in the middle of this sprawling, hot sexual adventure so I faked it. I faked it because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't see any way out.

8th October

They were all asleep when I left. I quietly changed into my clothes and walked home. I called Stephanie and left a message saying I couldn't make lunch because I felt ill, unplugged the landline, and ordered a Chinese takeaway to be delivered because I couldn't face cooking, then switched off my mobile. I did nothing except watch tv and eat. When I was in the kitchen I looked out of the window and saw Sam walking to her car. I started to cry which was odd but then I realised it was because I was overtired.

9th October

Kelly invited me to lunch but I said I was too busy. It was a fib but I couldn't talk to her about Saturday. In the afternoon she emailed me asking if everything was all right. As work was so hectic I didn't get the chance to reply.

10th October

I think the guy in Subway fancies me. Every time I go in he asks how I am. Also, he washes his hands thoroughly before putting on regulation latex gloves and attending to my six inch hearty Italian. I've not seen him wash his his hands preparing other customers' foodstuffs so his extra effort to impress me has been noted. What really clinched it was today when he asked if I was a student. He looks a bit like Enrique Ingesias but without the mole so I was flattered by his flirtatious banter. When I got home from work I rang Stephanie and she said the guy in the Subway where she goes chats her up too. Is this a way to make female consumers pick the longer more expensive foot long or are Subway male workers predisposed to fancy lesbians?

Stephanie wanted me to choose a day when we I would be available to go over to Jenny's for dinner. I mentioned Saturday and she said she thought I'd be at Kelly's and Dawn's. I said I needed a bit of a breather so it would be nice doing something at the weekend which didn't involve explosive sex with Amazonian women.

11th October

I came into work to find everyone in my office huddled around Mike's desk. When I asked what was going on, Mike told me that milk was being rationed. Instead of having as much milk as we need the whole building is to be rationed to two pints a day. Three guesses as to whose great idea this is. Lucy sent an email regarding milk wastage. She stated that by not putting it back in the fridge after making tea the milk was going off and costing the company money. It's sad none of us are in a union because otherwise we'd strike. Mike has organised a meeting with the MDs to thrash out a compromise. I just hope we win. If not I will look for a new job. I was going to leave when Stephanie and I had set up the bar but this is an infringement of my employee rights and I am unable to work for a company which does not offer essential liquid sustenance.

12th October

It was a strange day. When I arrived at work I opened my inbox and had an email from Kelly. She wrote that we haven't spoken much this week. Last night when I was getting in my car to drive home, she called out to me but I ignored her. I didn't hear her. Kelly and Dawn are having a get together with Louise this weekend and she wants me to come. I emailed back saying I was seeing Stephanie and her girlfriend so wouldn't be available. Kelly didn't speak to me again. Even when we crossed each other on the stairs, she barely said hello and couldn't look me in the face, whereas normally we'd be chatting up a storm.

Dawn phoned me in the evening which she's never done before. I asked if Kelly knew about the phone call and she said no but that Kelly had said it had been a weird day at work and she thought I was upset about something. Dawn wanted to check I wasn't upset with them for some reason. I said no. I was tempted to ask her about the noises she made with Louise on Saturday but I can't. I don't have any hold on Dawn. She has a girlfriend and all we've been doing when we meet up for sex is having a laugh. I absolutely love the sex, well I did until last weekend and that should be enough.

13th October

Seeing Dr Liebermann has made me worse. We talked about the foursome despite my reservations about analysing it. He seems to believe I am growing fond of Dawn. This made me angry and he said my anger was a sign of denial which made me angrier. Not every emotion is a knee jerk response to something happening in a person's subconscious. I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to sleep with Kelly and Dawn and that hasn't changed. I think the reason I am angry is because I don't like Louise. I can't see why Kelly and Dawn find her attractive. I said this to Dr Liebermann and he said this might be the case but looked doubtful. I want a psychiatrist who will provide me with all the correct answers and make me happy not someone who questions my self awareness. Dr Liebermann has not been keeping his end of the bargain. 

14th October

There must be a load of money to be made out of greeting cards because Jenny's house was gorgeous. Stephanie gave me the grand tour while Jenny finished preparing dinner. When she showed me the bedroom I asked what the sex was like but she said she didn't want to talk about their lovemaking which is unusual as I am used to comparing stories with her if one of us is visiting the Netherlands. It's probably because my recent sex life has been like an extreme sport whereas Stephanie's has more in common with online bingo.

Credit where credit is due, Jenny is a much better cook than Stephanie. For starters she made a rocket and roasted beetroot salad followed by Moroccan spiced lamb and to finish baklava with fig and orange. Her choice of wines admirably suited this Epicurean feast. I praised her efforts as we drank espresso and nibbled on chocolate covered coffee beans and said it was possibly as good as something I might choose to prepare. Now I'll have to invite her over and show off my cooking credentials. As we sat in the sofa, Jenny moved closer to Stephanie and gave her a kiss on the cheek. They looked very comfortable together. When one of them spoke, the other looked at her partner attentively. I can't remember the last time a girl looked at me in that way and it made me a little bit sad. I left just after midnight and when I got home I thought about Kelly and Dawn. I wanted to call Dawn but I don't know her mobile so I ended up calling their home phone. It was a silly idea and I regretted it as soon as the answer phone kicked in. I didn't leave a message. I didn't want them to hear my voice. I am worried they will do callback and know it was me who called. I went to bed but it took a long time to fall asleep.

15th October

Dawn called me in the morning. She'd checked their phone and saw I'd called. I asked where Kelly was and she said she'd gone out for a run. Dawn wanted to know why I called so late. I changed the subject and asked if they saw Louise on Saturday. She said yes and it had been fun but it would have been nice if I'd been there. I asked her outright if she and Kelly had got bored of me. She said no way. It had been Kelly's idea to get another person involved. I became quite emotional and when Dawn asked what was wrong I wouldn't answer. She kept pressing me until I blurted out that it seemed as if she enjoyed herself more having sex with Louise then she did with me. Dawn went silent and then gave me an answer I didn't want to hear. She said it sounded as if I was getting jealous. She also said that she enjoyed having sex with both Louise and me for different reasons but when it came down to it Kelly was her partner and she wasn't looking to replace her with anyone. I was crying by this point and asked if she liked me. She said yes as a friend and as someone to have sex with but she wasn't looking for anything more than that. I apologised for wasting her time, told her I was being silly and said goodbye. I wanted to call Stephanie but she would say I told you so and I can't have anybody making me feel any worse than I do now.

16th October

Shit, I am in so much trouble thanks to Dawn. I don't know why she had to open her big mouth to Kelly.

Kelly emailed telling me to meet her in the toilets. My stomach churned up because it was obvious she knew about Sunday's phone call. My heart pounded as I entered the ladies. She was already in there. She walked up to me, her face inches from mine and told me to stay the fuck away from her girlfriend. She looked furious and I'm now scared she is going to come over my house with the hockey team and beat the crap out of me. Being a lover not a fighter I am ill-suited to violence, especially if my body is the one being pummelled into a bloody pulp. I wish I'd never laid eyes on either Kelly or Dawn. I definitely do not fancy Dawn anymore.  

The rest of the day was spent staying in groups of people so Kelly couldn't get me on my own and kneecap me.

17th October

Kelly is acting like my new best friend. It is a remarkable change from yesterday when the air was thick with untapped aggression. She invited me for lunch, which I didn't dare decline, and paid for my raspberry frappuccino and carrot cake. She said she'd been a bit too 'hands on' when we spoke on Monday. If she and Dawn had remained 'hands off' I wouldn't now be fearing the wrath of a dozen hockey players. When I felt it was safe to speak, I timidly asked what had changed from yesterday. She confessed that Dawn was annoyed at her for being annoyed with me. Dawn said we were all friends whether we were sexing each other or not and it would be silly for that to change. What Dawn said made sense and Kelly realised the error of her violent ways. It was like one of those women's films Channel Five shows in the afternoon but with less crying and feathered haircuts. Although I agreed to Kelly's armistice, to be on the safe side, I shall continue to carry the rape alarm I received in my freshers' welcome pack. I should check the expiry date on the alarm because it is donkey's years old and might prove ineffective if a fight occurs.

18th October

I have decided to take up a self defence class and will try and rope Stephanie into going with me. The only defence moves I know come from the teachings of Mr Miyagi. Waxing on and waxing off might deter an amateur mugger but not an enraged hockey player.

19th October

I am happy because Stephanie has agreed to try self defence on the condition that I speak to my parents about the bar/restaurant idea. I will, I've just been very busy. I don't know why there had to be any conditions. Stephanie wants to do security at our bar so it would actually help knowing how to karate chop her way out of drunken altercations. If we became experts at self defence we could run a lesbian dojo at our bar/cafe/restaurant.

Lesbian Fight Club

The first rule of lesbian fight club is you do not talk about lesbian fight club.

The second rule of lesbian fight club is tell everyone (whether they are ready to hear it or not) about lesbian fight club.

Gangs of fit women, muscles pumping, neck veins straining.

Battle to victory no matter how draining

It is sexually attractive and gayer

To have skills like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

20th October

I spoke to my mum about getting a loan from her and dad. She asked what it was for and I said that Stephanie and I wanted to open a bar. I didn't tell her we wanted to make it a women only place because she would have refused straight away. She refused straight away anyhow. She said if I needed the money for something important like a wedding to a MAN then I could have it. I have been out to my parents for years but they still act as if I'm going through a phase and once the right guy comes along I will return to the straight and na rrow. I am trying to improve my life and owning a bar/cafe/restaurant, fight-club-cum-dojo would definitely help.

I told Dr Liebermann about my mum's refusal to lend me money to pursue my dreams. He said I was an adult and shouldn't go running to my parents every time I have a problem. Well, that was the general gist of what he said. I don't like it when he's overly emotional in our sessions. If he wants to be cantankerous he can take it out on his wife and kids, and not on the person helping to pay off the Aston Martin he recently purchased.

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