Misty Shackle's Blog  

11th September

I didn't go into work today. I didn't want to see Kelly until I've figured out how I feel about what happened on Saturday.

12th September

Kelly touched me up at work. She had some 'proposals' she needed me to look at. She came over to my desk and bent right over so that I could see she wasn't wearing a bra. I'm sure I was blushing. Then she said she wasn't explaining it very well, pulled a seat next to mine and then tried to play footsie with me under the table. Her foot worked upwards and I'm sure nobody knew what we were doing but I was very tense. She moved her foot and put her hand on my thigh. Unfortunately I was not forewarned about what she was going to do. I am a ticklish person and when I felt her hand I kind of jumped up cracked my knee on the table and made a sound like a cat being garrotted. Lucy looked at me and did a loud shushing sound. Kelly innocently asked if I was okay and walked away smiling. My nerves are jangled. I am not one of those people who has office affairs. The very idea of having sex on my desk makes me want to get out the anti static screen cleaner wipes and decontaminate my workspace.

In the evening I spoke to Stephanie. She guessed what happened on Saturday. Even though she's not my mother she sounded disappointed in me. She kept saying, "I hope you know what you're doing." I don't, I haven't got a clue. Up until recently, the only decision I had to make regarding sex was whether I was prepared to spend £80 on a Sinnflut vibrator from Anne Summers (it is rechargeable, so good for the environment, and it works in the shower too).

13th September

Unwisely I went to lunch with Kelly. Everything was going well. We were talking like normal people do; no mention of threesomes or what her girlfriend looks like with her legs around my head. I went to the toilet and Kelly followed me in. I asked what she was doing in there (I had left a half finished packet of cashew nuts on the table and was concerned the barmaid would think we had left and throw them in the bin). Kelly said we should go into a cubicle and fool around. We were on our lunch break in a public place! She tried pushing me into a cubicle and I had visions of the landlord calling the police and getting us arrested for lewd conduct. Fortunately, a woman smoking a cigarette entered the toilets with a screaming toddler called Tiffany whose nappy needed changing. Kelly left the toilets but I stayed in there to clean my hands and buy myself some time before the next sexual onslaught. It was gross being so near to a nappy change although, I was impressed that the woman could apply baby powder and clean Tiffany without needing to put her fag out.

I wonder if Dawn knows that Kelly keeps manhandling me in public places? If they're both the jealous type why do they want me involved in their sexual shenanigans? 

14th September

Sam called. She said she missed me which was kind of nice. Then she asked what I was wearing and I told her my free Guinness T-shirt and a tennis skirt. Then she asked if I had on any underwear, which surprised me.  A woman is more likely to catch the flu if she wanders around knickerless. I will not take that chance, even if it is late summer. Then she asked if I had ever had phone sex and I realised what her game was. I told her I was getting plenty of action with more than one person at the same time and I didn't want to hear from her ever again. I respect myself too much to be treated as another person's sex toy.

15th September

Stephanie phoned me at work and asked if I wanted to go out for a drink tomorrow. I told her I was going over Dawn and Kelly's house. She didn't sound too impressed by my answer and when I said she could come along too she was even less impressed. I mentioned Sam's phone call. Stephanie wondered if I cared about her anymore and I said no. Kelly and Dawn had shown me there were plenty more fish in the sea. Stephanie told me to be careful. I told Stephanie we'd had the STD conversation and they were both clean as a flute but Stephanie warned I should still look out. I doubt Dawn and Kelly are recruiting me for a Triad gang so I'm not sure what else to be looking out for.

Had another good session with Dr Liebermann. I told him about my menage a trois with Kelly and Dawn. He said that was interesting because very little research has been done into lesbians' sex lives. I asked him why. Lesbians compared to gay men, straight men and straight women have less sex or that's what Dr Liebermann concluded from the case studies he read. That doesn't make sense. Lesbians can have as many orgasms as they want, they don't have to worry about brewer's droop like gay or straight men do. They are also with a partner who can come as many times as they can, unlike straight women. Really, lesbians should be having more sex than everybody else combined.

16th September

I spent the night at Dawn and Kelly's. The sex was just as good but we tried out some new things. We experimented with some bondage which I've not really done before. I found out that I enjoy being submissive. I'd never really considered it to be an option. In all my relationships I like being the one in control. To be in a position where I don't have to think, I don't have to make any decisions at all was liberating. Okay, the position involved being strapped to a bed by my hands and ankles but I was in an controlled environment and I felt very safe. The only part of the evening which I found to be a bind was sharing the bed with both Dawn and Kelly. I don't like sleeping in a bed with one person; sleeping with two is impossible. I left early in the morning so I could get a full day's rest in my own bed.

17th September

Since I found the black hair growing out of my chin I have been on red alert. Hairiness had not been a concern in the past but times are a changing. I studied my eyebrows and they are definitely getting bushier. My chromosomes are running amok and I don't know what to do about it. Stupidly I rang my mother and asked if hairiness ran in our family. She said no but cancer, high blood pressure and scurvy did. My mum is crap at reassurance. I sucked on a lime slice as I made guacamole and pondered on the lives of hermaphrodites. Then I made a list of the pros and cons of being a man-woman. As far as I could see, the main disadvantage would be spending a fortune on man sized tissues as well as tampons and the biggest advantage is being able to pee standing up.

18th September

I met up with Stephanie for a drink. She asked about my weekend and I told her about my sexploits with Kelly and Dawn. She said she was worried about me. Had I considered the repercussions of uninhibited sex? Not really but I know that it feels good. Stephanie said Dawn and Kelly can't be happy in their relationship if they're bringing other people into their bedroom. From what I've seen, they get on well together. If I had a partner I wouldn't want them sleeping with other people but it works for Dawn and Kelly. She asked what happened if I fell for one of them. I am not looking that far ahead. I am enjoying what' s happening in the present and am not going to worry about the future. Stephanie is not normally so arbitrary. I'm single but have easy access to great sex. She should be pleased one of us is making the beast with multiple backs.

19th September

Kelly invited me to her house for lunch. I had a feeling cheese and pickle sandwiches weren't going to be the only thing served up. We had quick sex on the stairs in their house. It was good but I would have preferred it if Dawn had been there too. We were late getting back into the office and Lucy asked why we weren't back on time. Kelly made up the excuse that she needed to get petrol and we'd got stuck in a queue. Mike came over to ask about some purchase orders. He kept smiling through our conversation so I knew something was up. I went into the toilets to check my appearance and realised my hair was all over the place. I did my best to tidy it up and went back into the office. Kelly phoned me and was being very rude. It was fun but I got scared somebody would overhear us so I ended the call. Lucy announced in a loud voice that she didn't understand why people who worked in the same room would need to make internal phone calls to each other. I don't think Lucy has a particularly happy home life at home and that's why she's always grumpy at work.

20th September

I hate work. My job is rubbish and it's not improving anybody's quality of life. If it wasn't for Kelly or the responsibility responsibility of being the fire marshal I'd pack it in and go abroad. I told everyone I spoke to today about how bored I was and spent a few hours googling bar jobs in Greece. I want my ennui to be noted by the MDs so that they give me a raise rather than run the risk of losing me.  

21st September

Stephanie has met someone! I'm not sure how serious it is because she was cagey about giving me any details. No matter how crap this woman is she will be a definite improvement on line dancer. She wanted to meet up on Saturday so we could be introduced. I told her there wasn't a rush and that I'm sure they'd rather spend some alone time than waste the weekend hanging out with each other's mates. We have rescheduled for the week after. I didn't bother telling Stephanie that I am seeing Kelly and Dawn this Saturday. She'd think I cancelled because I'd rather have sex than meet her new woman which isn't strictly true.

22nd September

I've decided to invest in a Moon Cup. It will be my little way of helping the environment and it's under £20. I totted up how much a lifetime's worth of tampons costs and it's at least £3,360. I could buy a Renault Laguna off eBay with that or go on a month long honeymoon to Bora Bora instead of flushing it down the pan.

Dr Liebermann cancelled my session tonight. An oversight on his part meant I'd been double booked with a charity squashathon. His secretary assured me it's for a good cause. All the proceeds go towards counselling clinically depressed psychiatrists. I know mental illness is an occupational hazard in his line of work and pray Dr Liebermann never succumbs to its chilling grasp. It would take me years to break in a new therapist.

23rd September

Saturday night is now officially group sex night. I went to Dawn and Kelly's house and we had a few drinks before Kelly asked if I'd ever used a strap on before. I told her I hadn't. She pulled a large brown suitcase out from under their bed and opened it. It was like an Aladdin's cave of erotic paraphernalia. The suitcase contained dildos, vibrators, oils and a few disturbingly spiky objects. Kelly chose a strap on which they reverently called Willy the Conqueror and told me to put it on. I'm glad I'd been drinking otherwise I might have refused. I fumbled with the straps so Dawn helped me. Willy had a built in vibrating bullet, shaped like a rose. Once Willy was fitted correctly, Dawn switched the vibrator on which felt very nice although I'm sure I looked ridiculous. I tested Willy out on Dawn. She lay on the bed and helped me guide Willy so I was at the right angle when I entered her. I went very slowly at first because I didn't want to hurt her but she said it felt good so I picked up my speed. We changed  positions so Kelly was on the bed, Dawn was bent over going down on her and I was behind Dawn and we were doing it doggy style. It was hard work keeping my momentum going while Dawn was moving about all over the place. She came first and then Kelly did. By this point sweat was streaming down my face and I was on the verge of collapse. Kelly suggested swapping positions, this time with me on the bed, which I happily agreed to because it meant I wouldn't have to exert myself. Willy the Conqueror was unstrapped from my hips leaving red marks across my butt cheeks. Kelly went into the ensuite bathroom, washed Willy then strapped it to herself. She stood over me, pulled my legs until my bottom was at the edge of the bed and entered me. As I became used to the intrusion and my body relaxed I started to like it. While Kelly pushed into and pulled out of me, Dawn went down on me. I closed my eyes and allowed the delicious tugging motion to be my only thought. Nothing else mattered. I came hard. Dawn and Kelly stopped what they were doing, waited for me and then resumed what they were doing. I came again and again and told them I had to stop. I fell asleep soon afterwards and didn't wake up until after 11am the next day. Dawn made me pancakes and I left.

Sexually, I am learning so much about myself. I've also learnt that Dawn is great at preparing brunch and Kelly makes snuffling noises when she's falling asleep.

24th September

My period started today so I tried out the Moon Cup. It wasn't a complete success. I managed to insert it correctly but when it came to removing the cup my clumsiness ensured that my previously clean bathroom looked like the prom scene from Carrie. I am going to locate a Moon Cup chatroom and plead for guidance.

25th September

I checked the Moon Cup chatroom before I went to work. Nobody had answered my question. Although I did not wear it to the office I kept checking the website for new posts. While my highly relevant question was ignored an argument escalated over feminine deodorisers. It became very unpleasant. To pacify everyone and establish myself in the online community I posted an ode about my Moon Cup. Nobody said anything about my poetry until the afternoon when a woman from Wisconsin came on and accused me of being a troll. Then another woman backed her up and so I left the chatroom for good. Everyone in the chatroom is on their period so it stands to reason they have a hostile attitude towards creative newcomers.

26th September

Kelly sent me a sexy email which was so naughty I had to go cool off by the recycling bins. I suspect the techy guys are reading the messages I receive. There have been times when I've not checked an email and yet it's been opened. I should complain to HR and demand an internal investigation but the emails in question made references to handcuffs and snap crotch teddies.

27th September

If only I'd done a geography degree, instead of opting for a communication studies course I'd now be a town planner instead of one of many worker drones in a corporate beehive. I doubt anybody, except Paris Hilton, actually likes their job. I've been in this office for years so I definitely need to leave. There is no incentive to stay until retirement age. Norman from accounts left after 39 years and all he got was an engraved walking stick and tickets to a matinee performance of Les Miserables.

28th September

I spoke to Stephanie about how much I hate my job and she said we should go into business together running a lesbian bar. She'd be the security and I'd be the meet and greet person. It's a great idea. Now all we need to do is find the money to set it up. I am going to ask my parents for a loan. With my financial record, there isn't a bank in existence that would plough money into our venture.

29th September

My session was a bit different today because I didn't talk about my problems. Instead, I discussed with Dr Liebermann the implications of opening a lesbian bar. It is going to be great. It will be on two floors split into a cafe/restaurant and cocktail bar/nightclub. For the food in the cafe/restaurant on the ground floor we'd have nibbly bits such as tapas, meze and potato wedges. There would be no main courses but stackloads of desserts such as sticky toffee pudding, dark chocolate mousse and various cheesecakes. All the dishes would be seasonal and organic. The bar/nightclub would be located on the first floor. The lighting will be built into the floor because I've been told lower lighting is much more flattering on the face. I'm not sure what decor to have yet but I'll buy a copy of Homes and Gardens and have a flick through for ideas. We would hire professional cocktail makers and on the days when the nightclub wasn't open we could have poetry readings, actually funny comediennes and karaoke nights. When I got back from therapy I brainstormed for a while longer and made a list of all the things needed for our new business. I know it will be supercool.

30th September

Before we had sex I told Dawn and Kelly about the bar. I want it to be a women only venue. As well as lesbians and bisexuals I want straight women to feel like they can go to it. There is a reason why women go to gay nightclubs. They do it, I presume, to get away from the meat markets at straight clubs. It would be brilliant to have a place where different types of women could get together without having to fend off the advances of pissed up blokes. Dawn said we should have dating evenings at the bar which I agreed with and then Kelly suggested there should be swinger nights where people can swap their partners. I don't want to go down that route. I want the bar to have a welcoming environment so a woman who has never been in a lesbian bar can come in and so can the most experienced butch with both feeling they are in a safe, friendly place.

The sex was more gentle this week. Kelly had a glass full of ice cubes and we took turns going down on each other with an ice cube in our mouth. I tried not to slosh water over the bed sheets but they ended up getting wet anyhow. I had the idea of getting a cup of tea, holding a mouthful and having oral sex then alternating it with the ice cube so there was a mix of hot and cold sensations. We made sure it had cooled a little before we tried it out as none of us wanted third degree burns on our flutes.

After we had our first sex session of the evening, Kelly said there was something she wanted to show me on the Internet. It was a lesbian swingers' website. She and Dawn had put an advert on there looking for a single woman to join them for sex. I asked if they wanted to replace me and she said that wasn't it. They wanted to bring another woman in so there would be four of us having sex together. I wasn't sure. Dawn said they had a few responses and some of the women sounded normal. Her answer did not assuage my worry. What if the woman they pick turns out to be raving nutter? Kelly said that wasn't going to happen. They would meet the woman in a public place, have a drink and if any I'm-a-deranged-schizoid-who-will-chop-your-body-into-tiny-pieces-then-bury-it-under-a- kids'-paddling-pool vibes emanate from the woman they wouldn't contact her again. A foolproof plan then. I told them I needed some time to make my mind up.

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