Misty Shackle's Blog

April 21st

I stressed out at Kajol last night. We'd planned to go out for dinner and I was really hungry but I wanted her to make the decision. She said she didn't mind where we went but I wanted to know before we went out as I didn't want to spend the evening driving aimlessly through suburbia. By the time she picked a Chinese restaurant it was too late as we hadn't made a booking so there was no chance of us getting in. She offered to call and check but I told her she wouldn't get through. Kajol suggested we order pizza to eat at my place which I agreed to all the while thinking it was going to make my complexion worse and then it would be even less likely that we would snog. I got really angry about it and when the delivery guy came I  threw the money at him and slammed the door. Kajol asked me if there was something wrong. I mentioned that I was worried she'd gone off me as we hadn't snogged (pecks on cheeks, eyelids and my neck do not count) for a while.  She said the only reason she wouldn't kiss me is if she'd eaten something with loads of garlic or chilies in it and that is what had happened each day of this week . I asked her if this was true and hadn't the Mount Vesuvius on my nose put her off? Kajol said she didn't care if I had spots or not and that she'd always fancy the pants off me. I felt a lot better and told her I could care less what she ate as I'd always want her kisses although she might want to gargle with mouthwash if it's raw garlic she's eating.

Later, we had great sex that lasted for ages. Out of everyone I've been with, she has been the woman to know my body the best. As we lay in bed, I rested my head under her breasts and told her how paranoid I'd been feeling. Kajol made me move up to face her and we talked about it. I have this great girlfriend and okay my job is shit but so many have it a lot worse than I do so why am I being like this. Kajol said just because everything is going well on the surface it doesn't necessarily mean that we can always feel great. She stressed how important it was to talk and that I must always tell her if I am feeling down. I promised I would and then as we lay slowly drifting off to sleep, I mentioned the lapdancing club. Her body is as soft as butter but as I talked it turned into sharp, rigid angles and I had to stop laying against her. I couldn't see Kajol's face but her voice was the same as always. Kajol said she had no problem with me going and that even if I had a lapdance she trusted me and knew that she was the one I was coming home to and not the lapdancer. As her we talked it through her body became soft again so I hugged her and didn't let go until the morning.

April 22nd

Mike called me up to say he's booked the lap dancing club for next weekend. I said that was fine but I don't know if it will give me enough time to mentally and physically prepare myself. I don't want to give the women there the wrong impression that I am a ho and looking for cheap thrills. Then again, I don't want to turn up looking like a derro either. It's going to be on the Saturday so I'll book myself in at the hairdressers a few days before.

April 23rd

Spencer has left. Although our company has a high turnover this is possibly the shortest time anyone has stayed. I wonder if it has anything to do with our quasi-friendship. Obviously he was attracted to me. Perhaps his passions were too powerful too suppress so instead of making an exhibition of himself he left before they became all consuming. I wish him luck and hopes he finds a sensible girlfriend who is not superficial enough to be put off by Spencer's disability.

April 24th

Spencer's Limerick

There was a young man called Spence

Whose drawing skills were rather immense

Despite one of his arms being limp

It never allowed him to skimp

On desires that became way too intense.

April 25th

As one person leaves your life, another enters. It's as if the universe sees there is a gaping hole so plugs it up with a new entity whose inconsistencies and limitations are there for all to gawp at. A new girl started working in our office today. I didn't even know our department was hiring. Her job title is that of, 'Girl Friday' which is deliberately ambiguous and leads me to believe the managers will change her duties as and when it suits them. I didn't tell her this as I didn't want to frighten her off. It was my task to show her around the building. She seems okay, a bit nervous but then she is young. She asked if I had a boyfriend and when I looked at her askance and said no, she said that was okay in a condescending tone and spent the next 20 minutes talking about hers. It is awful of me but I can't remember her name. It might be Ruby but that doesn't sound right.

Kajol came over and we deftly steered away from the topic of lap dancing. I am starting to get knots in my stomach over it.

April 26th

I paid £47 to have my hair blow dried and styled knowing that it will revert back to how it was as soon I wash it.

New girl's name is Rachel and to make sure I remember, I wrote it on the back of an envelope and put it in my desk drawer so I can look at it, if I'm ever about to engage her in conversation. There is something about her which I am ambivalent about. She gets on well with Doreen which is a big red warning sign against her straight away, but there is something else. She's a girly girl and she asks impertinent questions. She grilled me about how long I'd worked here and just kept chatting the whole day which was especially annoying when I was trying to complete a tricky game of free cell. Then, when nobody else was near us, she grabbed my arm and asked if I was leaving. I said no but became paranoid about everyone knowing I was looking for a job. Does she have a sixth sense?

April 27th

I am trying to like the new girl but it is hard. I was doing a round of tea and as I made it Rachel joined me. She talked about her boyfriend (boring), a dress she bought at the weekend (as someone who views shopping trips as a necessary evil, I do not care what shade of pink her stupid dress was) and her job search. I pointed out it did not take two of us to make the tea but she had a case of verbal diarrhoea going on so possibly didn't hear me. I wish I possessed selective hearing. I'm sure it would be beneficial for me to block out at least 50% of the conversations I overhear. As I trudged up the stairs with the tea things Rachel didn't bother to open any doors for me, just kept talking. She asked me if I watched a bunch of television programmes I've never heard of and she was being so draining it was a relief to get back to my desk and away from her.

April 28th

Kajol came over and we had sex that lasted for hours. I don't mean that in a bad way, it was just very long. Kajol took over and said I was going to fulfil every fantasy I had so asked me what they all were even the taboo ones. My mind went blank. I tried really hard to think up even one minor fantasy but it was like being asked to pick only one dessert off a menu, it's just impossible. Fortunately, Kajol stopped asking what I wanted and got down to business. It was fantastic but I'm not sure if she got much out of it. When I tried to make her feel good she pulled my hand away and said tonight was my night and she'd be happy making me come and come again, which she did. I was exhausted and a bit sore afterwards but it was worth it.

April 29th

The lap dancing club was nothing like I expected it to be. Mike arranged for us to be picked up in a mini coach. It was the first time I'd met his friends and I'm glad Kelly was there for moral support. The friends were called Stu, Nathan and Pete. Stu was gangly, had a four pack of Stella which he drank without offering anybody else a can and a copy of yesterday's Sun that he read the entire journey. Nathan was more talkative and a veteran of lap dancing clubs. He told Kelly and I about the time he went to a club and had a cold. One of the girls was thrusting against him, which caused Nathan to sneeze over her cleavage. I did not like him. Pete was non-descript and therefore inoffensive. Kelly was thrilled about going but as we got nearer to the club I became more nervous.

We got there and Mike directed us into the club. We entered a hallway where we told to fill in a disclaimer and had our pictures taken. We were told our snapshots would be kept for 30 days in case we engaged in any wrongdoing with the girls. This did little to ease my worry. The rules were simple - touch the girls and you'd be thrown out, beaten up and left half dead in an alley. The last part wasn't mentioned in the document I was made to sign but I'm sure it was part of the agreement. We were led down a narrow staircase into a darkened room. About 10 girls milled about the room. As soon as they saw our group, they sat us down next to the stage and took our drink orders. Four of the girls came to sit with us. They were called Hummer, Martina, something that sounded like Hari Krishna and Brandy. While Mike, Kelly Nathan and Stu were loving the attention, Pete and I shrank back in our seats, looked at each other and then at the floor. I was asked if I wanted a lapdance, said no a little more forcefully than I wanted to and was thankfully left alone after that. All the women were dressed in what I imagine is meant to be apparel desirable to men. This meant high heels, fishnets (most of them were ripped and I don't know if this made the women extra sexy or that they couldn't afford to buy new stockings) and basque/corset things. Chokers were optional. The music was a weird mix of dance, RnB and power ballads. I Will Always Love You was one of the incongruous songs played.

Nathan had the first dance by a woman who looked like Fergie (the member of the Royal family not the singer). He came back with a self-satisfied grin and said she loved doing it to him. I could not stand Nathan. Both Mike and Kelly liked Hummer so each had a dance with her. As they were being worked on, Brandy tried talking to Pete. She said most of the punters were all right but some were nasty. There was one guy who ejaculated while she did a dance for him and she got some of it up her back. She told Pete that her day job was working for the electricity board which covered most of her bills but she had credit cards she wanted to pay off so this was a quick way to do it. She also told us when she first started working at the club she had to get drunk before she could do any dances. Frankly, it was depressing listening to Brandy. Everyone was having dances except for Pete and me. After his fourth dance, Mike told us he really wanted Pete and me to get a dance done so we agreed to his demands. Kelly said Hummer was good so when she came over with her friend Hari Krishna and said they could do a doubles dance Pete and I agreed. We were taken to the other side of the room and made to sit next to each other. Hummer bent over Pete and Hari did the same over me. They jiggled a lot, took their tops off, then snogged each other. That was my favourite part. Then Hummer slapped Hari's bottom which I didn't enjoy because it looked painful and Hari reciprocated but hers was more of a half-hearted tap then a proper thwack. Hummer and Hari swapped places. Hummer straddled me then rubbed her groin against my jeans. I had a belt on which must have chaffed her so was going to offer to take it off but then decided against it as that probably would have led to being escorted off the premises and left half dead in an alley. The snogged again and one of Hummer's boobs was right up in my face which felt like being in a soft porn picture, very surreal. Our time came to an end, so Pete and I thanked the girls and hastily went back to our seats. We must have stayed for another hour, giving Nathan enough time to have two more dances and then went home. When I got in I had a bath and felt guilt. It's not like I did anything and I didn't really fancy any of the girls but it still felt wrong. Nobody else, except Pete seemed to feel the way I did. I decided not to talk about the evening with Kajol unless she brought it up and even then I would considerably play down what happened.

April 30th

This weekend has been a lesson in sex and sexuality and all without me getting any loving action. Kajol, me, Stephanie and Jenny finally went to drag queen bingo. It's been something we've all wanted to go to since Stephanie saw it advertised on a website. The pub was in Berkshire so I offered to drive. We only got lost once which was quite an achievement. We passed an old woman so Kajol asked for directions. The old woman she spoke to gave us excellent directions and said she'd be up there later. She must have been in her 70s which got me wondering as to how old the oldest lesbian in Britain is. Does the oldest lesbian in Britain still get sexed up or is she stuck in an old folks' home, dribbling and wearing elasticated slacks? Will Kajol and I still be together at that age and if so will either of us have a beard? The pub looked very traditional inside except for the stage which was next to the bar and was covered in silver streamers and had a lifesize cardboard cutout of George Clooney on it. We got our drinks, found a table near to the stage, but not near enough for any of us to get called on by the drag queen, and sat down. Kajol had never played Bingo before so I explained the rules, went to the toilet and came back to hear the drag queen's opening song being played. It was a 70s disco hit about a star man which I was unfamiliar with. The drag queen wore a very short red dress with sheer tights and red stilettos. Every time she bent over to pick up a bingo ball I saw her frilly knickers. She was very funny. She'd say things like "Whore at the door, 44. 88, two fat lesbians." None of us won but still it was a good night out.

May 1st

I'm sure I overheard Doreen say to someone on the phone that we 'work hard and play hard' in our office. This is a downright lie. I have never played hard with any of these people, except for Kelly. It must have slipped my mind the evenings after work when I've had a right old laugh with Doreen. Clearly the woman is delusional. The fumes from the bird guano at her home combined with her tenuous link on reality must be the reason for this lapse into delusion. Must get a new job where I can play hard and work softly with everyone in my working vicinity.

May 2nd

Kajol came over and we talked about her move. The conversation ground to a halt which was odd because we've never had trouble talking. Kajol always likes to ask me lots of questions and I've offered my opinion on all manner of topics but that didn't happen. During the silence I went off into the kitchen and pretended to clean the sink. She came in and asked me what had occurred at the lap dancing club. I hesitated then told her I hadn't brought it up because it had been awkward and I surmised she'd prefer it if I didn't tell her about it. She said the opposite was the case; because I hadn't spoken about the bar she figured maybe I had really liked it or something untoward had gone on with me and one of the dancers. I almost laughed at that and said the opposite was the case. Kajol apologised for being jealous but I enjoyed seeing this side of her and it made for having great sex later. As we lay in bed we talked about her move. She said that she wants me to view her place as part of my home and that I can bring some of my clothes over so I am always prepared if I want to stay over. Then Kajol wanted to have sex again and so did I but it was a school night and knew I'd be knackered in the morning if I stayed up for too long so I speeded it up. It was still satisfactory just quicker than normal.

May 3rd

Hate work. Cannot do this for much longer. I'm sure Doreen makes up tasks for me to do just so she can piss me off.

May 4th

Kajol came over and said she had something to give me. She dashed into the lounge, I heard her rummaging about and then she came back holding something. She kissed me then gave me the object she was holding. It was a key. It is the key to her apartment. She said I was to let myself in whenever I wanted, even if she wasn't there. I was touched and felt a little guilty because I've not given her a key to my place. Not that I am paranoid she would go through my things but what if she went through my things and looked in the drawer under my bed? I guess I could always put those objects in the loft.

May 5th

Thank damn it's Friday. When I went out for lunch I had a text message from a bloke about a job I applied to ages ago but had completely forgotten about. He wanted me to come for an interview. I rang him up and he told me to meet him at a golf club which is a bit strange considering the job is for an ice cream company but I agreed to his request. Our meeting is on Monday (I'll tell work I've had an emergency astigmatism and need to see an optician) and Kajol is going to give me a mock interview on Sunday.

May 6th

The weather was gorgeous today so I decided to treat Kajol and I to a delicious lunch. I went to the supermarket while she was waking up and bought a reasonably priced shoulder of lamb. I infused the lamb with lemon and rosemary and let it slow roast in the oven while we went for a walk by the river to work up our appetite. There were a lot of people out taking full advantage of the sun. I wanted to hold Kajol's hand as we walked and while this might have been all right if we were in London I thought we might get some funny looks so decided against it. Kajol didn't have such concerns and on the way back she slipped her hand into mine. I was a bit embarrassed to start with but then nobody seemed to notice and it felt lovely so we stayed like that until we got back to my apartment. As she laid the table and made us mojitos and prepared the salad, I checked on the lamb, made Taleggio potato parcels from a recipe I got out of a food magazine and began whipping up egg whites for a praline meringue cake with strawberries. We had the lamb with the salad and the parcels which were so good I will be sure to make again, had another mojito and then I cracked on with the cake. As we waited for the meringue to bake, Kajol checked my shoulders for sunburn and put aftersun cream on the pink areas but this soon turned into a sensuous massage which I grudgingly ended when the timer pinged on my oven. I made the cake which was gorgeous and both of us ate far too much but I reasoned the meringue would go soggy if we didn't try to eat at least most of it that day. I put on an L Word DVD and as we were watching Kajol on the floor between my legs and pulled my shorts down. She played with me and then when it turned to a sex scene with Shane and Carmen she used her mouth. I watched what was happening on screen and came quickly.

May 7th

Kajol wanted to prepare for my interview as soon as we got up but I tried to put her off by making pancakes and getting her to watch Country File which she's obsessional about. We  were able to get through lunch (leftovers of the lamb and salad) before she made me do it. She dressed up in one of the power suits she wears to work and looked very sexy. We managed to do the mock interview three times before it turned into a role playing session similar to some of the erotic fiction I've read on the internet. She was the dominant boss and displayed a side I've not seen much of before. I'd like to explore role playing further with her and will need to come up with some new scenarios for the future.

May 8th

I rang up work and tried out the astigmatism excuse, then dressed for my interview. It was a bright sunny day (good omen) so I wore a pouffy skirt with a figure hugging top and flounced my way to the golf club. I went to the reception, spoke to the receptionist who had no idea whom I was meant to be meeting and hung out by a sport drinks vending machine. A middle aged man with a widow's peak (?) walked up to me, introduced himself as Bob and shook my hand. He took me outside to meet his business partner Ford (is that a first or last name?) and we sat in the sun and talked. They asked me a few questions and then we chatted. Ford told me about the company which sounds like an British lesser version of Ben and Jerry's. Very ethical, all Fairtrade etc, no kids in sweat shops in Bolivia churning milk for 30 hour shifts so that was a relief. The best bit is I get to take as much ice cream as I want home and try out the new flavours. I want this job! They said they'd ring in the next few days for second interviews. Rang Kajol after my interview and she was most pleased it went well. Got to work and as soon as I was through the door, Doreen dumped a huge pile of folders on my desk. I will not miss this place.

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