Misty Shackle's Blog

14th February

I was running late for work so didn't leave until after the post had been delivered. Not one Valentine's Day card. I shouldn't be surprised but it would have been nice to have at least one secret admirer. Work was dull and I became increasingly  fed up with the amount of girls who had bouquets delivered from their boyfriends. PDAs should be kept behind closed doors during office hours as they are disruptive and make it hard for other people to get on with their work. When asked how many Valentine's Day cards I received I gave a mysterious smile and continued unjamming the photocopier.

I got home and found that Kajol had posted me a box of chocolates. She'd left a card saying her mum had given them to her but they were white chocolate which she didn't like but knew I did so decided to give them to me. I left her a text message saying thanks. As I was sending it Stephanie called. She asked if I'd got anything for Valentine's Day and I said no. Then she told me she was sent a giant handmade card from a mysterious stranger. It doesn't take the deduction skills of Sherlock Holmes to figure out the if you're girlfriend is a card maker by profession she's going to be the one who sent you the silver filigreed card with the silk love-hearts and not a 99p job from Woolworths. They are going to have a romantic meal involving strawberries and Champagne and probably hot sex. My evening consisted of munching on the box of chocolates, downing two bottles of Corona and watching Mika Tan porn.

15th February

17th February

There wasn't enough time to prepare what I was going to say to Kajol as during the day I had to make a goulash. Then I needed to put photos, that were taken years ago and gathering dust in my spare drawer, into the albums I saw reduced today at the supermarket so bought. I was driving so I picked up Stephanie and Jenny first so Stephanie could keep me company in the passenger seat and then we went to get Kajol.

We went to The Rose and Crown and were lucky enough to get a table next to the log fire. Stephanie was on good form but Kajol was a little bit subdued. I went to the toilet and when I came back Jenny suggested a walk on the greeen. I pointed out that it was brass monkeys outside but Jenny said it was too hot by the fire and she needed a breather. We went outside and once I wrapped my scarf tightly around my neck I didn't feel too cold. The sky was peppered with stars and I kept looking up as we were walking. Jenny and Stephanie walked ahead and I found myself matching Kajol step for step. We talked and I looked at her and I was overcome with a feeling of joy. I thought about kissing her and maybe I would have done but then she started talking. She told me she knew I knew that she liked me. She said she was embarrassed and would have preferred to tell me herself but that choice had been taken out of her hands. Then she said it was okay if I didn't return her feelings. She said being with me made her happy and that feeling was enough. She hoped it would not ruin our friendship and she was sorry if I felt awkward about the situation I'd been placed in. It kind of killed the romance because she looked very worried.  I said it was okay. Before I could say anything else Jenny came over and said Stephanie had tripped and was covered in mud so we needed to get her home. Once I dropped them off there was silence in the car. I took Kajol home and watched to make sure she got into her house then drove back to the apartment.

18th February

I couldn't sleep at all. At 10am I texted Kajol saying that I wanted to meet up. I received a reply from her five minutes later agreeing to it. The plan was for us to go for a pub lunch but when I picked Kajol up she said her mum wanted me to join their family for lunch. She said I didn't have to if I didn't want to but I said it was all right. Kajol's family must be quite well off. There was a Porsche parked in the driveway and they was a really cool entertainment system in the lounge. Kajol's mum gave me a hug when I entered and said that Farha was always talking about me. I looked at Kajol and she said her real name was Farha but that she looks like a Bollywood star called Kajol so her friends gave her that nickname. I asked which name she preferred and she said she didn't mind. It would be weird to start calling her something new so I am going to stick to Kajol. I didn't know what to expect for lunch but it was delicious. I had a vegetable soup, aubergine in a yoghurt sauce and chicken and chick pea stew with rice. For dessert we had fruit and small balls made out of a type of sponge in a syrup sauce. Kajol's mum was very chatty whereas her dad only briefly joined in with the conversation. I liked them but really I wanted to be alone with Kajol so we could talk.

After the meal we left the house went for a drive ending up by the lake. I told her that she was important to me and maybe we should try dating. Kajol asked if I felt I was being pushed into anything and I said no and that when we were walking last night it felt very romantic and I wanted to kiss her. She started laughing saying how she was sick with worry and the last thing she felt when we were walking was romantic. I took her hand and kissed her palm and then she kissed me. It was very gentle, a soft brushing of her lips against mine and then her mouth opened. It was  sweet and made my stomach jerk and flip. Although it was cold outside and I hadn't switched the car heater on I became very warm. We kissed for a little while longer and then we just sat there, her hand in my hand, enjoying being together. We didn't have to talk and I'm glad we didn't because words would have changed how it was with her and I didn't want it to change. We stayed like that until it got dark and I drove her home.

I have a girlfriend!

19th February

I had a good day at work. Was able to complete most of my work in the morning allowing me a free afternoon to Google. I looked up Kajol in images and it is true, my Kajol looks a lot like her even down to the eyebrows. I texted her and was going to ask if she wanted to come over for reheated goulash but decided that was a bit too quick after our intial hook up so changed the message to say any time this week. She texted back and said she was free on Wednesday so we agreed I'd cook us dinner then. When I got home I planned my menu. It has to be special so I am going to do three courses and see if I can work through my lunchbreak so I can go home early to prepare it.

Kajol called me later and we were on the phone for over an hour which is surely a record for me. After thirty minutes of chatting on a phone to anyone I feel as if I'm wasting time so have to multi-task by either flicking through a magazine or surfing the net but this was not the case with Kajol. She is so interesting and wants to know all about me which is encouraging.

20th February

Kajol

What a fool,

I've been.

Farha

Like the Sahara

Bestows warmth

Work was all right again. Nobody has worked my nerve in the past two days which is something of an achievement on their part.

21st February

My menu was to be curried parsnip soup for starter, followed by baked halibut with watercress creme fraiche sauce, mashed potatoes and green beans, finishing with rhubarb crumble. I'm glad everything could be prepared beforehand except for the fish because I was so nervous by the time Kajol was meant to show up. She arrived on time and gave me a bottle of white (I told her we'd be having fish) and a bouquet of flowers which was lovely. I told her to relax while I carried on with the cooking. She offered to help so I told her she could open the wine. The first glass went straight to my head and unfortunately I was pissed by the main course. Kajol only had one glass as she was driving so I felt bad about my inebriated state and kept apologising. She said it was fine and she wanted me to enjoy myself when I was with her. After dinner we lay on the sofa cuddling and I said she could stay the night but she said she wanted to take things slowly which was okay by me for that night because I would have been useless. She left about 11pm and I collapsed into bed still drunk.

22nd February

I am mortified at how drunk I was last night and sent Kajol an apologetic text. Mike called to see if I was doing anything on Friday and I told him I was. When Kajol phoned me back I mentioned about us meeting on Friday but she said she's got a family do so she won't be able to. I was a bit disappointed but rang Mike up and said I could now meet up with him. I began to worry that Kajol had changed her mind about me. Now that she had seen me drunk she might be thinking I was a dipsomanic savage in all my relationships and that's why it hadn't worked out with past girlfriends. The family do explanation could be a tissue thin excuse to get her out of more drunken encounters with myself.

She texted me later asking if I wanted to meet up on Saturday. So all the worrying was for nothing. Hooray she still likes me! I vow never to get tipsy in her presence again unless she is way more drunk than I am.

23rd February

It was good to see Mike and get his perspective on me dating Kajol. He said he was pleased that we'd got together but it had radically changed my personality. When I asked him in what way he said that I was less funny when I'm in love. I told him I never deliberately try to be funny and he said he knew that but whenever I see him I always bitching about something or having the worst day of my life and that always makes him laugh but tonight I was happy and it took some getting used to. He added that we are more likely to be friends with people whom we agree with on disliking certain things rather than those whom we share likes and hobbies with. Basically, bitching brings us closer to our friends.

I mentioned my birthday and asked if he could come and he said sure and that he would bring his girlfriend. Time is running out and I need to book up somewhere for us to go.

I got in at 1am and was going to leave a message on Kajol's mobile but then I remembered I was drunk and stopped myself in time.

24th February

Kajol and I went to the Sovereign with Jenny and Stephanie. This is the first time we've all been out since Kajol and I began dating. Both of them were chuffed for us and Stephanie said I seemed a lot happier and relaxed. I'm glad one friend likes the change in my temperament. Once we'd all commented on how we could now go double dating and what a good couple Kajol and I make, I wanted to be on my own with Kajol but for politeness sake I lasted another hour then said I was tired. Stephanie and Jenny exchanged amused smiles and agreed to end the evening. Kajol drove me home and I invited her in. I was going to open a bottle of wine but Kajol said she'd prefer a cup of tea so I made a pot and we lay on the sofa listening to music. Kajol lay against my front and I rest my hand on her stomach occasionally kissing her neck and stroking her hair. It's the first time I really noticed her hair. I mean it always looks good but I realised that there were copper coloured flecks running through it. I asked if she got her hair highlighted and she said they were natural. Before he grandmother went grey she also had copper streaks in her hair. It became quite cold in my apartment and I would have put the heating on but it would have taken at least thirty minutes to kick in so I suggested bringing the duvet from my room so we could wrap up in it. Kajol hesitated a little then said yes. Hoping that she wasn't misunderstanding my intentions I said it was just to keep warm in. She helped me with the duvet and we wrapped ourselves up into a soft cocoon. I enjoyed the closeness of her but I felt myself getting sleepy. Her breathing deepened. I saw she had fallen asleep so with resistance weakened I closed my eyes thinking I would doze for fifteen minutes but was awoken to Kajol murmuring my name in her ear. She told me it was 3am and she had to get home as her mum would be wondering where she was. I reluctantly agreed. She helped me taking the duvet back into my room, gave me a kiss and a deep hug and then she was gone like a will 'o the wisp.

25th February

It was a sunny morning so I went for a walk by the lake. The birds were singing, some of the trees had begun to blossom and I was a happy ambler until I saw the upturned Morris Minor in the middle of the lake. First off all how did it get to the middle of the lake? The lake is huge. If somebody wanted to dump a car into it wouldn't it be near the lake's edge? It must have taken great dexterity and planning to tow a car out so far. Secondly, who would put a Morris Minor in a lake? There is no way joyriders would be uncool enough to nick that car no matter how high they were on Shake N Vac. This is the second time I've seen a car in the lake. There must be a graveyard of car corpses on the lake bottom.

Later, I called Kajol up and we had a long discussion about the pros and cons of being a joyrider and about meeting up tomorrow. She is going to come over to my house and I will be the perfect gentleman and not get up to any hanky panky.

I must buy a box of tampons.

26th February

I had really bad stomach pain all day. I'd texted Kajol to say that I was feeling rough and she replied that we could cancel tonight if I wanted. I said no because I'd been looking forward to seeing her. She came over after work and bought me fresh chicken soup, chocolate and a heat pad. We had the soup with crusty bread and then I lay on the sofa with the heat pad on my stomach and Kajol rubbed my back which did stop the cramps. She told me that her mum had stayed up on Saturday night and when she got gave her the Spanish Inquisition. Kajol told her we'd been at Stephanie and Jenny's playing board games and lost track of the time. I would have been less than convinced by this excuse but I guess Kajol's mum doesn't get out much and board games provide an infinite amount of thrills and spills in their family home. I asked if her parents knew that she liked girls and said sort of. She'd told her mum and her mum totally freaked out on her, saying it was unnatural and performed a cleansing ritual on her. When Kajol told her she still felt the same and wanted to tell her dad, her mum told her it would break his heart and forbid her from doing it. I asked if her dad had any inkling and Kajol said no. Over the years he has introduced her to eligible men and she's had to go on dates. I mentioned that it must have been tough and Kajol said not really because her dad has quite good taste in men so she had quite a good time on most of the dates, once she'd let the guy know she wasn't interested in dating him. I asked if she would have to go on these dates for the rest of her life and she said no. About a year ago, when things were starting to go awry with the ex, her dad wanted her to go on another date and Kajol told him that she was a career woman and wasn't particularly interested in dating anyone. His eyes filled with tears but he nodded and said that she was a career girl and she should concentrate on that. I did consider how this is going to affect me although I haven't brought it up just yet. My tummy started hurting again so I wanted Kajol to continue rubbing my back.

However, we did talk about my birthday and how I was stuck about what to do. She came up with a few ideas and then mentioned going to a roller disco which is a genius idea. I haven't been since I was a kid and I'm sure everyone else will agree to it. Well it is my birthday so for at least a day all of my friends have to do whatever I want.

I am so glad I won't have my bloody period on my birthday.

27th February

At work I Goggled roller discos. I found an adult one where kids are banned and there is a bar. I'm not sure mixing 16 stone men with rollerskates and Stella Artois is particularly sensible but it does sound like a laugh. The nearest one I could find is in south London. I sent out a group email telling everyone about the disco and giving them a link to the site. That was hours ago and I still haven't had any replies confirming who is going and who isn't. I wasn't seeing Kajol today so I thought I'd better ring up my mum. I told her about the roller disco and she liked the idea then she asked if I wanted money or presents for my birthday. I never want money, I'd much rather have a present/s.  Then I told her that I was dating Kajol and she went, "Oh." There was a pause and then she asked what Kajol did for a living. When I told her, she said, "Are you sure she hasn't made that up?" and it did upset me. I told her I knew Kajol very well and she wasn't a liar. The conversation had pretty much died so I said goodbye. You would think I'd learn by now not to tell my mum about my girlfriends. I am sure if it was a bloke she wouldn't respond in such a negative way. I am glad I'm going out with Kajol and I know my parents would like her if they didn't think we were dating. I might push for us all to meet up and show them that I can date nice, kind people even though they happen to be female.

28th February

I haven't seen Kajol in two days. We've talked on the phone every night but it's not the same as being in her company. I miss her. Stephanie and Jenny have confirmed they will go the roller disco and so will Mike and his girlfriend. I sent invites to Kelly and Dawn but haven't had a reply. I don't want to broach the subject with Kelly in the office because everyone else might be annoyed that I haven't invited them. Also, I'm not sure what it will be like seeing Dawn again. I don't mean in a fancying her way. I have Kajol and I am very happy but still it might cause tension.

Blog: Page 17